Small Cowboy Hats…

So in the world there are two types of men that exist…those that think its acceptable to wear a small cowboy hat in public and those that understand that it is not, but what does this really mean and where does this leave us?

Well for starters it leaves the children of the small cowboy hats in trouble because not only is their father of the small cowboy hat persuasion but it also means that their mother finds those that where a small cowboy hat attractive! There will not be a nail pounded or a flat tired changed, ever in the life of those children and I can guarantee that there will be some school yard confrontations that  were instructed to be “talked through…” You see the problem, is that those that wear a small cowboy hat are people who ‘pretend’ to be something that they are not…they want to give the appearance of a hardened weather worn and life educated man who can be leaned on during times of difficulty.  But they are not! they are gentleman that wear a hat for the image of what the hat provides…but because they cannot support the large hat with their personality they choose the little one that has no real function or use. So now we have a bunch of men going though life pretending to be men and not actually having the skills to be a man…

So what does this have to do with the (man)imals guide you ask? Well the (man)imal spends a lot of time in the weight room lifting the weights..producing the sweat…and grinding the wheels to get a head as a being, born into a physically existence. But the (man)imal is losing faith int the men that come into the gym and train…they are all a bunch of dudes wearing small cowboy hats, all over the world I am seeing this occur…men trying to play the role of masculinity but  failing to provide the confidence in others around them. Men are becoming over analytical and fragile…They try to iPhone their training…they are trying to treat the physical culture like a profession in technology….Trying to perfect something that was perfected by nature, looking for ways to short cut the end result…Men trying to text their way to success instead of writing that motherfucker long hand the way it was meant to be done, and as the number of small cowboy hat wearing motherfuckers increase the standards of success have to come down! It has too! Because the systems that people are now using as the gold stars of training are no longer achieving the results. So as a whole the masses will dictate the societal end range of what is acceptable, and what is acceptable is changing. However, this is not what was meant for the human body! The body is designed to move…to grind….to work…The human body was designed to hunt a kill and to survive, and not that long ago….Imagine if you will. Three young men watching  a mountain goat climb the side of a mountain.  They hike after it predicting its path, climbing…crawling…hand and foot. Scaling and pulling against he elements, burning lunges as they try to match the goat as it climbs. Bloodied hands and feet…exhausted hours have  passed. They finally get into a position of advantage over the goat, they prepare their spear, or bow and they attack with maximal  explosion. The animal goes down, but after that they have to butcher and pack that bastard back out the way they came….and this was just to have dinner!

When we try to short cut this nature of man we short cut our lives, the human body was designed to move, it was designed to work. The hunter didn’t worry about the exact spine angle of his thoracic on the way up the mountain, and he defiantly didn’t stop to think if he activated his abdominal wall right before he lunged his spear into the animal, and you shouldn’t spend the next 6 months with your thumb up your ass doing movements that are so simplistic that they cannot even be related to something as natrual as walking up a steep hill because you are afraid to take that silly cowboy hat off and get under a fucking bar. The End.

-(man)imal

 



Categories: Written Word

2 replies

  1. ha ha ha. yes! People always asked me why I never got a USMC tattoo, and I always said “the man makes the orginization. The orginization does NOT make the man.” Same thing for cowboy hats, mustaches, beards, dark sunglasses, cool cars, fat gripz, steroids, TAPOUT shirts, etc etc. Man is a dying species. Biologically, ethically, and morally. The real dilemma of a true man is not what fucking head accessory to wear today, but how not to bang every piece of legal ass he sees that day. If you can’t relate, go get your test levels checked. Lovin the articles. They remind me of the ol atomic dog articles on the early t-nation. Now, excuse me whilst I go “produce the sweat”.

  2. This is awesome. Amen!

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